just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
im on a boat
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