I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
