her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So vagazzling was a success
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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