Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
