tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
