I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
