I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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