He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
