actually, I'm a sock model
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
