just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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