i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
