Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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