i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
