That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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