he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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