Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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