is your mom at the bar?
I look better un-naked...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
