Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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