i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
