Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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