my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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