Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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