I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
