Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
