a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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