Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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