What a fucking waste of an outfit
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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