Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF