i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.