So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?