Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.

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  (212): chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble. http://tfl.nu/y9yr
  Replies (46) Good night (8380) Bad night (1346)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?

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  (630): He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that? http://tfl.nu/r8k1
  Replies (44) Good night (1370) Bad night (8981)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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  (401): I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first http://tfl.nu/owtg
  Replies (24) Good night (6449) Bad night (1370)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

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  (917): My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/qx0a
  Replies (4) Good night (4122) Bad night (904)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.

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  (405): Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/852v
  Replies (6) Good night (3327) Bad night (1064)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.

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  (303): I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower. http://tfl.nu/2fah
  Replies (8) Good night (1179) Bad night (2965)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.

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  (717): It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/8d6y
  Replies (8) Good night (3601) Bad night (982)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (1686)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.

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  (406): All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven. http://tfl.nu/uskg
  Replies (11) Good night (2011) Bad night (551)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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  (803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37
  Replies (18) Good night (2411) Bad night (1027)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

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  (509): Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane http://tfl.nu/c9oo
  Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (763)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?

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  (713): I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla? http://tfl.nu/e5jq
  Replies (8) Good night (1360) Bad night (356)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!

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  (614): I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit! http://tfl.nu/68by
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (546)
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  (408): View more from California

  What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point

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  (408): What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point http://tfl.nu/9b7m
  Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (326)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.

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  (814): Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in. http://tfl.nu/ywt7
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (531)

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