Yo dont text me then not text me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude i'm inner monologue high
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Mom said you looked used
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
