oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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