That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
