if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ttyl tear gas
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
