having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize