If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He has the fingertips of a God
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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