Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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