Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
