if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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