READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
