I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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