i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize