I wish I could punch you in the face.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
