Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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