Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
