Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride