I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
And then he peed in my hair
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