awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
