considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
