At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
