he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
