...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
