I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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