I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
