I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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