if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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