So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
