I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
