you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
