Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
