does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
