3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
