I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize