well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
