yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
